Weeks 30 – 32: Monday, March 18 – Sunday, April 7, 2024

Hello everyone,

You may be wondering, what has Ilana been up to the last few weeks? Well, let me tell you. 

Since getting back to Neblinas in mid March, many things have happened in my host family. 

First, very sadly, a member of the family passed away of cancer at the age of 40. 

While I did not get the chance to meet this member of the family, she seems to have been someone of great importance to many in the family I am living with. And seeing the family come together showed me just how much people in Mexico value family, no matter how distant the connection.

From what I understand, the woman who passed away was the niece of my host by marriage — someone who lived in the community as a child but moved away to the city of Querétaro as an adult. 

So what surprised me is when after learning of her passing, the entire extended family — no matter how distantly related — came together and organized the customary funerary arrangements here in Neblinas before the arrival of the body of the woman who died and her family members from Querétaro. And this all happened from one day to the next. 

I'm not sure how the decision was reached, but the wake and all of the food preparations ended up taking place at my house (well, the house of my host that is). The decision was most likely made because my host is the matriarch of the family and because the mother of the woman who died is also no longer alive, so perhaps it made the most sense. 

But starting early Thursday morning that week, my host and a number of other family members who live in the community started making preparations to be able to feed dozens of people for the following three days.

Food preparations entailed making mole upon mole upon mole with large quantities of rice dozens of kilos of tortillas to accompany. For three days, it seemed that food was being cooked around the clock, and there were constantly people coming to my house to partake in the food and "convivir" (share space or, literally, co-live) with the family.

When the family from Querétaro arrived, there were at least 40 people from Neblinas and other communities who had come to welcome them and see the body of the woman who died. The casket was not open open, but there was a window at the top of the casket to see the woman's face, if the people cared to do so. I did not choose to look, but I did go up to see the procession and show my support for the family. 

From what I heard, various members of the family stayed up through the night sitting with the body to guide her onto her path, and by late morning on Friday, they had taken the body to be buried in the town cemetery. 

While I haven't taken part in too many funerals in the U.S., it struck me as though the customs of the people here in my community are very special. The way the whole family came together so quickly and without a second thought made me realize just how much people value their extended family. And on top of that, every person who attended pitched in in some way, whether that was bringing ingredients to contribute to the meal or helping cook or setting up tables and chairs. The collective participation was impressive to watch and extremely meaningful to me.

For almost 2 weeks, there were family members from all over the state of Queretaro coming to Neblinas to first bring the body to the grave site and then to pray nightly to guide her soul to the right afterlife (or so I imagine). There were constantly people coming and going and eating and drinking.

Not that I don’t love family gatherings, but for me, I’m much more used to the quiet and having more personal space, so after some time, I started to feel a bit claustrophobic. 

Luckily, a couple of friends of mine had invited me to travel with them throughout La Sierra during Semana Santa when there were no classes and most people were taking vacation. My friend Ellie invited me first to visit Xilitla with her the first couple days of April. My friend Luis, coincidentally, invited me a few days later to visit a number of sites in Pinal de Amoles (a municipality in La Sierra) from March 29 to 31. Although I wasn’t sure how it was going to work, I was in the end able to make the two trips work, and it was quite enjoyable.

The first part of my trip was with my friend Luis and his mom and her boyfriend in different scenic spots in La Sierra. We started our journey in Cuatro Palos, a mountainous community overlooking the entire Sierra Gorda. While it is somewhat of a hike getting up there, I was grateful to go. Both to be able to sit under the incredible starry sky and to wake up early enough to see the sun rise over the mountains. 

From Cuatro Palos, we made our way to Cascada El Chuveje, where Luis and I hiked to a beautiful waterfall. Right when we were about to get into the water, however, we were told that actually it is no longer permitted to swim in the water there, as a way of trying to preserve the environment. An environmentalist myself, I was happy to respect these regulations, and Luis and I moved on to our next destination: Puente de Dios.

 

Arriving in Puente de Dios, we were told that most of the tours were done for the day, but that we could get a tour for the following morning and have a more private experience, given that fewer people go in the morning and that if we were in the first group, we could spend more time exploring the area before more people arrived. 

So we decided to sit in the lower part of the river that ran in front of the hotel we were staying in. The water was beautiful — cold but not too cold for comfort — and provided a beautiful contrast to the hot air temperature.

While I was sitting in the water, journaling and enjoying the cold water on my legs, I felt something land on my back. Thinking it was a leaf, I brushed it away, only to find out that in fact it was not a leaf, but a bee that decided to sacrifice her life and sting me. Luckily, I am not allergic to bees, and was able to shake off the surprise of it all without too much commotion. But it still came as somewhat of a shock, not having been stung by a bee in quite a few years.

After a relaxing evening, we woke up early the next morning and made our way over to the starting point of the Puente de Dios tour. Going early in the morning was an excellent idea. We were the first people to enter the reserve — Luis, his mom, me, and two others — and we were given significant time to swim in the crystal clear water and take our time without anyone else rushing us to get out of the water.

While the end point was quite the spectacle and quite the experience, for me, it was the walk through the dense forest, along and above the river that was by far the most impressive part of the experience. Wooden planks lining the sides of the rock wall and ducking through caves — the natural beauty was something truly special and something worthy of the protection and preservation it currently has. Without a tour, no one, not even the members of the community can go into the river or woods, which are sanctuaries for numerous species including deer, ocelots, axolotls, and various species of protected birds. It was special to see how well preserved the space is and how dedicated the community is to conservation.

After parting ways with Luis and his family, I met my friend Ellie in Xilitla. Ellie and I stayed in a hostel in Xilitla for three nights and met some interesting people. Mostly adventure-seeking individuals from Europe and some from the US. I think you really do have to have a sense of adventure to come to this part of the world. But what struck me as so cool was that the people were so willing to do that adventuring. A woman from Italy was telling me about her experience journeying from Cape Verde across the Atlantic in a catamaran and then making her way from islands in the Caribbean into Mexico. Another woman (also from Italy) was hitchhiking her way through Mexico, which while risky, sounds pretty awesome. A man from the Netherlands was similarly seeking adventure through Mexico, making his way down to the south of the country only carrying his backpack. 

I really love that sense of adventure. I know when I stayed in Europe a couple of years ago, I was staying mostly in Airbnbs and wasn’t the most social. Now, I feel much more ready for that social experience and from now on (at least while I’m still young and adventurous) I plan on staying in hostels to see what kind of cool people I can meet around the world. That, and also being able to buy ingredients and cook in the communal kitchen are reasons why I am now pro the hostel lifestyle.

Since being back in Neblinas, more family has been in town. In part, more people are here because of Semana Santa and the two-week vacation that students were given during this time. This week was also the quinceañera of Tatiana, one of my host’s granddaughters who turned 15 a week or so ago. 

The ceremony and the party were very nice and Tati looked quite regal in her purple quinceañera dress. We danced the night away and woke up the next morning for the recalentado (leftover party) with the whole family.

I’ll keep you updated on the next part of the adventure. 

Love,

Ilana